Friday, December 27, 2013

Jack on Delegating

Age 10:

Jack: Mom, can you make me a glass of milk?
Me: Isn't dad already in the kitchen making your eggs?
Jack: Yes, but I like to delegate my requests. 

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Jack on Displacement

Age 10:

Jack and I were sitting at a stoplight one day. The light turned green but I was distracted and didn't start moving right away. The car behind me started to honk his horn. But it wasn't the kind of honk that says, "Hey, I'm trying to get your attention" it was more of the  "HEY IDIOT MOVE. YOUR. CAR!!!" variety. In my opinion, it was an overly aggressive honk, really. 
Me: Geez. That car is really honking at me. 
Jack: Maybe they weren't honking at you. Maybe they were honking at their demons. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Jack on Nose Picking Techniques

Age 10:

Yesterday was the Winter Program at Jack's school. After school I was telling Jack about this one kid who wouldn't stop picking his nose and eating it throughout the program. 
Me: It was really gross. He wouldn't stop doing it. 
Jack: How was he doing it? 
Me: I don't know. He would pick a little, eat it, pick a little, eat it- over and over again. 
Jack: Oh so he was just chipping at it, he wasn't digging for gold?
Me: ...

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Jack on decorating

Age 10:

We drove by a strip mall this morning and chuckled because they had three random wreaths hanging in strange locations. The wreaths were super tiny and just looked odd. Jack took one look at it and said, "To be honest, it makes it look pathetic and like you don't give a crap."

Happy Holidays. 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Jack on His Hair

Age 10:

Every morning, I need to spray down Jack's hair.  I'm not sure what happens overnight but in the morning, he usually looks like some variation of the Heat Miser.

This morning, Jack was critiquing his hair and commented, "My hair today is so tall and narrow.  It looks like a can of Coke."

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Jack on Using His Own Money

Age 10:

Jack has been putting together his Christmas list. One of the items on his list is a set of Nike Broncos gloves. The gloves are $100 so we broke it to him that he wouldn't be getting the gloves from us. We suggested that if he reeaaallllly wanted the gloves, that he should pool all his money together and buy them with his own money. Jay then indicated that he didn't think Jack would do it. Any time Jack comes across money, it burns a hole in his pocket so we joked that there was no way Jack could save up enough money to buy them.  Jack looked at us and said, "So you wanna test my moxie?"