Jack: Hey Mom?
Jack: If you were going to make a dating website for old people, what would you call it?
Me: I don't know.
Jack: I'd call it "I've fallen in love and I can't get up."
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Jack went to a sleepover last night and was telling us about it. To give some context, the mom of his friend is one of those moms who is super-involved, super-creative and super-friendly. Basically, she's my polar opposite.
Me: I like your friend a lot. He's a good kid. And I like his mom a lot, too. She's great.
Jack: She's kind of like a Supermom.
Me: I know! She kind of makes me look bad.
Jack: Oh no Mom. No she doesn't...Only you can do that.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Every morning it's the same. We leave the house, the kids scream "SHOTGUN!", race to the car and then fight over who got to the front seat faster. I generally try to tune them out. This morning Megan kept complaining from the back seat.
Megan: This back seat doesn't even have heated seats.
Megan: So, you don't even use heated seats in the front.
Megan: Well it's a waste to have you sit up there if you aren't even going to use the heated seats. My seat is so cold back here and I...
Jack: (interrupting her): Sounds like you are having First World Problems.
Megan: No. I'm just having a turd for a brother.
Happy Monday everyone!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Around Christmas, Jack was trying to decide which football jersey he should add to his list. After much deliberation, Jack told us his selection.
Jay: Are you sure you want that one?
Jack: Now you are making me second guess myself.
He waited a moment and then started walking towards the bathroom.
Jack: I'm just going to go poop on it.
Me: Uh excuse me????
Jack: I mean I'm going to go crap on it.
I guess that is where he does his best thinking.