Friday, February 28, 2014

Jack on Dating Sites

Age 10:

Jack: Hey Mom?
Me: Yeah.
Jack: If you were going to make a dating website for old people, what would you call it?
Me: I don't know.
Jack: I'd call it "I've fallen in love and I can't get up."

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Jack on Third Person References

Age 10:

Jay referred to himself in the third person. As in "Daddy doesn't like..."
To which Jack chimed in with, "As a general rule, you shouldn't refer to yourself as 'daddy'".

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Jack on Supermoms

Age 10:

Jack went to a sleepover last night and was telling us about it. To give some context, the mom of his friend is one of those moms who is super-involved, super-creative and super-friendly. Basically, she's my polar opposite. 

Me: I like your friend a lot. He's a good kid. And I like his mom a lot, too. She's great. 
Jack: She's kind of like a Supermom. 
Me: I know! She kind of makes me look bad. 
Jack: Oh no Mom. No she doesn't...Only you can do that. 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Jack on How to Get On His Sister's Nerves

Age 10:

Every morning it's the same. We leave the house, the kids scream "SHOTGUN!", race to the car and then fight over who got to the front seat faster. I generally try to tune them out. This morning Megan kept complaining from the back seat.
Megan: This back seat doesn't even have heated seats. 
Jack: So?
Megan: So, you don't even use heated seats in the front.  
Jack: So?
Megan: Well it's a waste to have you sit up there if you aren't even going to use the heated seats. My seat is so cold back here and I...
Jack:  (interrupting her): Sounds like you are having First World Problems. 
Megan: No. I'm just having a turd for a brother. 

Happy Monday everyone!

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Jack on the Best Way to Make a Decision

Age 10:

Around Christmas, Jack was trying to decide which football jersey he should add to his list. After much deliberation, Jack told us his selection. 
Jay: Are you sure you want that one? 
Jack: Argh!
Jay: What?
Jack: Now you are making me second guess myself. 
He waited a moment and then started walking towards the bathroom. 
Jack: I'm just going to go poop on it. 
Me: Uh excuse me????
Jack: I mean I'm going to go crap on it. 
Me:...

I guess that is where he does his best thinking. 

Monday, February 3, 2014

Jack on His Gift Giving Abilities

Age 10:

Jack is going to a birthday party this weekend. I asked him what he should get his friend for a gift. His response? "I don't know exactly and I'm a terrible gift giver anyway."

Very well then. Gift card it is.