Sunday, March 30, 2014

Jack on Jellyfish

Age 10:

This week we are on spring break. A bunch of the boys went to the beach to play in the ocean. The dad in charge startle joking with the boys about what to do if they were to get stung by a jellyfish. 
Him: So you guys know what to do if you get stung by a jellyfish?
Boys: You pee on it!
Him: Okay, so you need to pick a buddy. If you get stung, you need to pick a friend who will pee on you. 
(Boys take turns saying who their pee buddy would be.)
Him: Jack, who would you pick?
Jack: I pick myself. 
Him: What about if you get stung on your shoulder?
Jack: I have extreme accuracy.


Friday, March 14, 2014

Jack on Beer

Age 10:

Jack: Mom? You know what I've learned during my short existence?
Me: What?
Jack: Well, I used to think beers like Bud Light and Miller Lite were good beer.  But really, in the world of beers, those are just crap.
Me: ...

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Jack on XBox and Watching TV

Age 10:

The kids had the day off on Friday.  Jack came downstairs and immediately turned on the XBox and started gaming away.
Me: So how many hours of XBox and TV watching do you think you will end up doing today?
Jack: I don't know.
Me (sarcastically): Do you think it will be over 10 hours, or under 10 hours?
Jack: I'd say just under 10 hours.
Me: Really?
Jack: Yeah, just under 10.  What did you think?  I was going to go whole hog on that?