Saturday, July 25, 2015

Jack on Celebrity Friendships

Age 11:

Jack and I were discussing movies we wanted to see and we landed on the movie Paper Towns. I mentioned to Jack I thought the female lead in the movie was friends with Kendall Jenner***. Jack mused, "It can't hurt to be friends with a famous person." 

We talked for a moment about how there may certainly be some perks to being friends with a celebrity before Jack reconsidered and said, "You know, on second thought, it could hurt to be friends with Chris Brown."


 ***No judgement please. I do realize it is really weird that a woman of my age knows a fact like that but just go with it. 

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Jack oh His Sales Pitch

Age 11:

Jack really wants an air rifle. He played with one at a friend's house and has been begging for one ever since. The other day we were killing time in Dick's and he brought me over to see the air rifle selection. And then he started rattling off all the reasons why he should get one. Among my favorites were:

"The bullets won't actually hurt anyone." 
"I won't point it at any windows."
"If I use it inappropriately, you can take it away."

After I still said no, he shook his head and said, "C'mon! I could sell a blind man glasses with that pitch."

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Jack on Silverware

Age 11:

At a restaurant and Jack is unwrapping his napkin. "This is like the third time this week that I've unwrapped my napkin and a knife has fallen on my balls. It's a good thing it was the dull end."

Jack on Roller Coasters

Age 11:

"My general rule is if I'm 500 feet away, and I can hear people screaming, that ride probably isn't for me."